WELCOME to the season all us Aussie fans have been waiting for. Relax and kick back with a bevvy, because AUSTRALIA SURVIVOR is back! Yes, after the underwhelming first season in 2002 (and ignoring the Celebrity version), Survivor is back with a vengeance on Channel 10 with a revised format of 24 contestants attempting to Outwit, Outplay and Outlast 55 gruelling days for a $500,000 prize! It’s also great hearing Aussie’s saying ‘Shit Yeah’ on Survivor. Let’s dive in.

EPISODE 1:

DAY 1

Jono’s at the blowholes to officially open Australian Survivor. Before we know it he’ll be hanging off cliffs and be standing atop of volcanos in years to come. Baby steps.

It’s dark and we see 3 trucks rolling through the jungle with all the teams already split by tribes. And BAM alleged Survivor super fan and youngest contestant, Conner, is the first to receive a confessional; congrats baby blue! We then hear from army corporal El, cricketer Lee and courier Des mentioning he has an IQ higher than any hot dinners we’ve had. Okay! Evan explains how he is a drama teacher and wants to hide that he can act (we’ll see later on), Flick talks metermaid-ing on the Gold Coast (when is she going to mention Benry?!) and Sam won’t shut up about mateship and romance already. Then there’s Andrew with a Dr Evil kinda vibe who seems to be channeling his inner Iceman, aka Brian Heidik. Firefighter Kylie is the last they show and one of my personal favourites going into the game, you go Kylie!

SurvivorAU02[Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]

As they all hop off the trucks I can’t help but notice all the hats. SO MANY HATS. Our whole Slip-Slop-Slap mentality is shining through even on reality TV; well done Australia. Say no to Melanoma! Barry’s black witch’s hat wins the gold, with Des’ Cricket Australia hat taking silver. Bronze goes to Kat’s gold necklace which could double as a potential fake immunity idol, or weapon.

FIRST CHALLENGE. Jono tells everyone they are already split into their tribes and their first team challenge is to swim/canoe out and retrieve fire. But hold up, there’s a supplies barge metres in front of the fire pontoon; is food more important than fire? To be honest everything happened so quickly all I remember is Tegan grabbing Mark the Chicken 2.0 and Aganoa already sinking their canoe. Spiderman Sam jumps in the water and eventually out swims everyone helping Saanapu claim their first victory.

AGANOA CAMP

Introductions quickly ensue at the red camp. Des and El hi-five (probably their first and last) over their army relations and Rohan talks up the whole “you can be smart and good-looking too” thing. Kat, or better known as Café Latte (thanks Des), begins to dictate tasks around building shelter and things start to get heated, aww yeah! Des confesses his strategy is to ‘do nothing’ and ‘be the villain’. In a way Richard Hatch implemented a similar strategy in Borneo, but wasn’t a total ass hat.

VAVAU CAMP

How fun is this tribe! It begins with a hug-fest. Learning that Craig listens to Beyonce only reminds me of the awful “Im a Survivor” promo ads. Adelaide boy Nick is hilarious and it’s obvious he is a hard core Survivor fan. He talks about how he knows what he wants to do, but doesn’t want to become the leader. His emotions are raw and his excitement and love for the game shines through. At the same time Dr Evil chimes in saying the leader always gets their head chopped off early. This guy is cold! Nick attempts to make fire, but fails. So what better to do than go frolic in the ocean instead? Vavau is the tribe you want to be on right now!

SurvivorAU04The new Cesternino! [Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]

SAANAPU CAMP

Conner starts to reference Bear Grylls and Matt claims he doesn’t know how to build shelter “because I’m a magician”, but he grabs the fire and chucks it in the fire pit and all seems dandy. Booyah Bianca successfully lies to her tribe about working in insurance, and surely no one will question that seeing it’s such a boring topic to discuss. I’m very interested to see how her private investigator skills help her in this game. She’s one on my ‘keep watch’ list. Conner pulls a mini Skupin burning his hand and ends up asking advice from Firefighter Kylie, although he isn’t sure if she is trained enough in burns…

AGANOA CAMP

Aganoa are still trying to make fire and are going nowhere with their shelter. People are starting to complain Des is not contributing, and he is absolutely fine with that. He confesses they all need to learn from their own mistakes in building a crappy shelter. Oh Des, you really have no clue.

SAANAPU CAMP

Back at blue the shelter is coming along and the team is working well together, whilst Conner is sitting pretty in the ocean. He eventually sparks a conversation (and maybe some heart eyes too) with Flick and they start talking Survivor and alliances, which does not include Kylie and Bianca. NOO!

SurvivorAU03Heart Eyes [Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]

VAVAU CAMP

Sue lets us all know about her lovely ass and water slides. Thanks gran! Vavau also get their shelter up and hold an official opening for it. Cute! Unfortunately something breaks as they all attempt to lie down. At this point I was distracted by the Jurassic Park-type music playing at camp. Amazing.

AGANOA CAMP

Night 1 at Aganoa and they’re all spooning each other on the ground, except for Des because it isn’t his cup of tea. Des resorts to the beach disgusted by the rest of his tribe. Then the king tide strikes! I wondered why they built their ‘shelter’ so close to the beach (refer Saboga tribe), but anyways it turns into a swamp. Aganoa is struggling, big time!

 DAY 2

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

All tribes arrive at immunity arena and Evan’s acting skills come out to play. He makes up a story about how Rohan and Lee made fire and after being questioned by Jono, Rohan realises he can’t lie (or act) and that story just fizzles out to everyone’s surprise. Jono then reveals the Immunity idol; a magical spear. Jono can’t stop using his hands to explain everything he does and this frustrates me. Lucky for Jono, his commentary is on point and is not too over the top like Probst. The challenge consists of up and overs, climbing nets and a plank walk with a puzzle at the end. Spiderman Sam is the hero of the Saanapu tribe lifting everyone up, what a guy. I’ve never seen so much crotch and ass grabbing in a Survivor challenge! It finally comes down to the final puzzle challenge with Matt/Flick v Andrew/Sue v Kat/Des. Who the hell allowed Kat and Des to be partners here?! They spend more time looking at the other tribes puzzles than looking at theirs unfortunately and they come up short. Way short. Saanapu finish first and along with Vavau win immunity and flint. Aganoa wins this seasons first tribal council *applauds*.

AGANOA CAMP

While Rohan sits pretty in his cute turtle shirt, the women of Aganoa discuss their four-strong alliance. Des realises he has to scramble to stay in the game so switches his strategy up and resorts to actually being a decent human being and helps build an off-the-ground shelter. Too little too late, mate! While El flosses Kat’s teeth, Des works on Rohan to get the guys on side. The oddballs Evan and Kristie also have a bit of screen time to show their quirkiness blossom.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Tribal time and Jono digs deep to show off what he learnt from Probst. He tells Aganoa to grab fire as it represents life in the game. Straightaway Des defends his motives on not contributing at camp saying he devised a Stage 1 and 2 to shelter building. Des and Kat end up arguing as expected and he comes clean saying that sometimes he doesn’t like her. Overall the tribal council vibe is lack lustre, and it wasn’t necessary showing everyone speak. What they need to edit is the music as it started to hasten and crescendo during the votes making it obvious who was leaving. The highlight was Des pulling a Crystal Cox with his out-loud confessional voting for Kat. In the end the right person left, goodbye Des. You can go back to listening to your wife. 7-1 vote.

SurvivorAU05Dezza Unleashes [Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]


EPISODE 2:

DAY 3

Post-tribal council, Aganoa head back to camp and someone’s gone a little cray cray. Kristie can’t seem to find her belongings and starts pointing fingers at her tribe mates. Paranoia is setting in and a part of me wants her to go all Abi-Maria on them with death threats, but this isn’t American Survivor.

abimaria[Image credit: CBS]

SAANAPU CAMP

Sitting pretty, Flick makes it clear that she’s taking it easy in this game and that they are all happy campers. Booyah Bianca starts to gather intel (oh I miss Debbie Wanner) and puts the alliances within the tribe together. Discussing it with Kylie, Bianca talks about voting either Flick or Brooke out.

AGANOA CAMP

Everyone talks about Kristie behind her back, well she’s only really sitting behind a tree nearby, but nonetheless. Meanies. Kristie begins freaking out and almighty El comes along to comfort her because noone else will. El asks Kristie why Survivor is so important to her. When Kristie claims she will win Survivor my hubby starts choking on a chocolate peanut. I don’t think he believes you, Kristie! 😦

VAVAU CAMP

FOOD TALK TIME. It’s also fire making time with Nick and Craig and they succeed!! For about 5 minutes until it goes out. Nick proclaims “Survivor is a bitch!”

AGANOA CAMP

I hope this isn’t a weekly thing, but Evan goes on again about how he’s a drama teacher. I am impressed with his bogan voice though. Evan decided Lee will be his meat shield for the rest of the game. Lee doesn’t like how Evan constantly talks strategy and just puts up with him for now. Evan calls Rohan ‘Zac Efron’ and I’m offended. I’m even more offended that he treats Phoebe as a goat. Phoebe is also offended and wants him out.

SurvivorAU06Meat Shields [Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]

VAVAU CAMP

Kate gets her first confessional, hi Kate! The real-life Survivor is brimming with positivity and it is brilliant. I really hope it carries through in weeks to come. Kate helps out with the fire and voilà, Vavua has flames!! Also shout out to Purple-Tegan who says one word this episode, ‘WOW’.

DAY 4

SAANAPU CAMP

Firefighter Kylie is showing off her skill set helping around camp and Flick and Brooke are less than impressed. They find Kylie annoying and are probably jealous of her awesomeness. And FINALLY we get to see Peter, or Fiegs, as the tribe like to call him, but NO 😦 He is already exhausted and wants to quit the game. *RAGE*

IMMUNITY/REWARD CHALLENGE

Jono lets the other tribes know that Des was voted out at last tribal council and people actually looked shocked. This challenge involved certain tribe members be chosen as sacrificial lambs. I’m unsure why they used that terminology, but I’m not going to question the Survivor Gods. The elderly Peter and Sue sit out of this one. Saanapu gain an early lead and Aganoa fall behind yet again. Lee realises that to get through this course he needs to take it on by himself and he goes beast mode on it! Jono starts channeling Probst telling everyone to “pick it up!!”. It’s a very close race in the end with all tribes knocking blocks off with tiny bean bags. Kate pulls off a massive win for Vavau receiving immunity and a fishing kit reward. Lee smashes the blocks out for Aganoa’s first win and Saanapu are heading to tribal council.

SAANAPU CAMP

The game begins for the blues, with Peter wanting to be voted out. Bianca, confident with her intel, takes Conner aside telling him she thinks Flick needs to go home. Conner who is in an alliance with Flick approaches her and Brooke letting them know Bianca is out to get them. Trust is all up in the air at this point. Kylie tries to get in on the young alliance action making sure majority rules. Flick tells Bianca to vote out Peter because that’s what ‘everyone’ is doing. Bianca’s intel is not quite up to scratch, unaware of Conner’s heart eyes for Flick.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Funnily enough Jono is very disappointed with Saanapu. He probably had bets on them to make it the furthest. Flick tells Jono that everyone is working as a team. Bianca’s face looks as unconvinced as mine seeing the endless Hungry Jacks Hunger Tamer Survivor Box ads. Jono wants Kylie to point fingers at who is not pulling their weight at camp, but she just won’t. Probst would have pushed harder. It’s only your second tribal, Jono, so we’ll let that slide! Conner and Brooke fight over whose fault it was losing the challenge. Brook and Flick admit they are in a tight alliance and then soon regret it. Jono acts surprised and Bianca claims they have been a threat from the start. In saying this Bianca knows she’s on the chopping block and sadly she ain’t no booyah no more being voted out 5-2-1 (2-Peter, 1-Kylie).

SurvivorAU07Bye bye booyah Bianca [Image credit: Network Ten/Endemol Shine]

ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT NETWORK TEN/ENDEMOL SHINE AND CBS. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.

“NEXT TIME ON… AUSTRALIAN SURVIVOR”:  We hear from Tegan. Maybe.

Dan

SURVIVOR DAN’S THOUGHTS

My mate Dan (also from Adelaide) has his say on the first 2 episodes:

“Firstly, I’m impressed and surprised. Australian Survivor is everything I hoped it would be. I’m absolutely loving it! The contestants are likable (most of them anyway) and it’s very high production. Both boots in the first two episodes were not predictable, in fact I thought it was going to be Kat/Peter and it ended up being Des/Bianca, both smart decisions. The tribal councils need improvement but that will come as the show progresses. I hope Survivor fans worldwide give this a go, they won’t be disappointed! My early pick to win at this stage is El or Conner.”