“PREVIOUSLY ON… The Amazing Race Canada”:

I’m only 8 weeks behind in blogging (well my episodes 1-7 crashed and deleted :() , but I’ll say that this is the first Amazing Race Canada I have watched and I am absolutely loving it. The production is brilliant and not as over the top as the US version. It’s actually quite similar to the Australian TAR. Sure they travel a whole lot more within Canada, but the scenery is beautiful (refer cover photo of Haida Gwaii) and I’ve enjoyed the self-driving legs with all the fancy Chevrolets. If you’re a fan of the Amazing Race US then I would highly recommend the Amazing Race Canada. The cast is the most diverse I’ve ever seen and they even had a team member, Lowell, who is legally blind and was so inspiring to watch.

I’m also going to make it clear that I am ultimately rooting for Kristen and Steph, so no apologies from me if posts are dominated by them. #bosslesbians

PRIZE: $250k, a round-the-world trip and the choice of a Chevy, and the title of TAR Canada.


Five remaining teams race from Kingston, Ontario to Havana, Cuba.

First team to leave is Kristen/Steph. Second is Rita/Yvette, then Joel/Ashley, Jill/Emmett (who is still bitter about the U-turn) and lastly Frankie/Amy.

First clue in Havana is at some fortress which I don’t know the name of. LaReal De blahblah.

DETOUR TIME: Sugar or Shake.
SUGAR: At a rum museum, push sugar canes through a grinder to make enough juice. Hand deliver sugar cane in glasses through the streets to customers.
SHAKE: Salsa dancing with 3 other couples in front of a public audience.

Well fuck, I would have to choose Sugar. I cannot dance to save my life!

Jill/Emmett and Kristen/Steph choose Sugar – I’m guessing because Kristen has no rhythm… kidding! Joel/Ashley, Frankie/Amy and Rita/Yvette choose Shake.

At the Sugar Shack, the two teams are cranking that sugar cane fast and hard. The competition is on fire! Look at the guns on these girls. I know you’re looking too!


All the guns. [Image credit: CTV Television Network]

At Shake Shack, Frankie and Amy are looking classy AF in the pink dresses (that woman in the background thinks you do too) and they are freaking out watching the salsa. I’d be overwhelmed as well Frankie.


Fancy. [Image credit: CTV Television Network]

Ashley has trouble dancing with Joel ‘being the man’ because she normally likes to lead, while Rita and Yvette attempt the salsa first and they smash it on their first.

Back at Sugar Shack, Kristen and Steph are having trouble with the sugarcane and it jams. Shit. Jill and Emmett jump ahead. Steph randomly grabs a machete (no girl!) and slices her finger. Blood splatters everywhere. The tears, the blood, that face!! CRIKEY!


Ugly cryface. [Image credit: CTV Television Network]

Cue dramatic music. A quick pash and Kristen, being the greatest lady-love, helps to finish the detour for the both of them. Hi-five!

Rita and Yvette are at the next location and I am as confused as they are at what’s going on. They find the hotel/museum on the ladies map and they talk about how they are currently team #1. Steph notices the red and yellow flag on the hotel without even needing to see the tour guide lady, freaking killing it man!

Rita and Yvette arrive at hotel/museum first and find the next clue.

FACE OFF! (WTF is this?! Thank goodness for Monty): Teams compete head to head in a beach volleyball challenge. First team to score 15 points win. Teams who lose have to play the next team to arrive. The last team has to take a penalty; well that sucks.

Kristen and Steph arrive first, naturally. And their first opponents are Jill and Emmett. GAME ON MOLES. Emmett harps on about the u-turn; give it up bro. Steph and Kristen score first, but Steph’s bloody finger is playing up (what a fucking trooper to not give up). This gives Jill and Emmett the lead.  Steph is getting frustrated and tells Kristen to stop yelling at her… Eek. Stay positive girls! Jill and Emmett take advantage of their mistakes and win the match. Kristen/Steph now face off against Rita/Yvette, and my fave lesbos win. Phew!

ROADBLOCK: Teams watch a silent demonstration and manufacture 3 engine gaskets. Emmett starts asking the gasket guy questions, did you miss the memo buddy?

It’s a FACE OFF – Rita/Yvette v Frankie/Amy and oh my goodness I laughed out out when Amy gets hit in the head. Sorry Amy!


BAM. [Image credit: CTV Television Network]

At Pedritos Emmett’s doing well making gaskets. Steph takes on the roadblock and realizes it may not have been the greatest choice.

Back to FACE OFF and Amy/Frankie struggle against Joel/Ashley, and DAYUM Joel is a gun at volleyball. Why is he not at the Olympics?! Frankie and Amy take a penalty. Frolick in the ocean ladies!


At Pedritos, Steph starts using the machine and I’m scared she’s gonna slice something else. Kristen eggs her on, but she just gets a “shut up” in return. You’re gonna make me cry, girls! Rita seems to be just as impatient as me. I would have smashed a car about 5 minutes ago. Joel is already ahead making 2 gaskets in 2 minutes. Frankie and Amy finally arrive. Steph’s head is not with it and Kristen is freaking out. And so am I. Steph eventually makes one and happy face is back!

Jill and Emmett make it to the pit stop first, welcome back to #1 guys! They win a trip to Cancun, Mexico. #SpringBreak

Joel/Ashley are #2. Kristen/Steph are #3, phew. Frankie/Amy scrape into 4th and Rita/Yvette freak out at their last place position.

BUT it’s a non-elimination leg. Oh puh-lease. Dammit, I like eliminations. Until next week, where there is another double U-turn!