Wow, aren’t we so lucky to kick-off 2017 with the 21st cycle of The Bachelor, featuring the infamous Nick Viall! At the beginning of the episode we relive Nick’s failed Bachelor/ette attempts with Andi, Kaitlyn and Jen, and his sister gives him tips on how to woo his bachelorettes this season. Nick just wants to find L.O.V.E.

And of course, they had to bring the other douche, Chris Soules, back on our screens! Sean and Ben remain in my good books.

Enter the 30 women and Nick’s first impression rose goes to the Texan attorney, Rachel. GREAT CHOICE.

And just for fun I’ve decided to hand out my own virtual roses to the girls who I feel gave the best first impressions in the premiere episode (the good, the bad and the bat shit crazy!) So here we go:

8. JOSEPHINE, 24

B2101.jpg

An odd first impression, yet still a lasting one. Cat lover Josephine is for sure a producers pick and she makes it through to the next week. Unfortunately dressing up as a nurse while you’re unemployed doesn’t make you a nurse love, and your cat looks kinda depressed.

ezgif.com-fb22b34523.gif

There’s always one each season. [Image credit: ABC]

Nevertheless, she’s fun to watch and who can forget her wiener in a book gimmick. “It goes down pretty hard”. I gotta say the sexual innuendos this episode were at a 10! I don’t think Josie will be around for long, but at least she has a good heart, right?

7. DANIELLE L, 27

B2102.jpg

The salon owner who runs 3 businesses, this woman is driven! And she seems to be Nick’s type with him complimenting her dress numerous times throughout the night. Luckily her sister picked out the perfect dress for her with major cleavage. We haven’t seen too much of her yet, but I think she is another who will slip through the cracks and hang around for a while. She could easily become one of those girls you forget and goes home making us think “Who the eff is THAT?!”

6. LIZ, 29

B2103.jpg

Liz, oh Liz. You are on this list because you definitely made your presence known. I see both sides of the story here, sure Liz and Nick bonked after Jade and Tanner’s wedding, but she probably thought “eh, he won’t stick around, so I’ll just have some fun”. Can you blame her though? He didn’t really have a great track record with women on TV. On the flip side Nick did ask for her number so he was interested in getting to know her, but nope. 8 months later she turns up on The Bachelor. A bit suss I think. Seems like she has other motives to being there other than ‘wanting Nick’. I see her getting the flick in the next few weeks.

5. DANIELLE M, 31

B2104.jpg

The cute 31 year old neo-natal nurse, who yes works in a hospital Nick, made a sweet entrance and not just with her fathers homemade maple syrup! The two hit it off quickly as she stuck her syrupy finger in Nick’s mouth. Hmm. Anyhow, she seems like a nice gal and who doesn’t love someone who saves babies; or she calls them, the future! If one on ones arise I think these two will hit it off well early. I am unsure if she will make family visits, but I can see her safely float to the top 8. I’ll be rooting for her.

4. CORINNE, 24

B2105.jpg

“My heart is gold, but my vagine is platinum”, a quote from an upcoming episode; you know this girl is hanging around for a while yet! Corinne is one of those girls I definitely would not cross paths with, and if I did, I’d probably run and hide. This girl is all business! And her running the family business I’m not surprised it’s so successful. Corinne is one determined woman and will go to great lengths to win Nick’s heart, and peen. Upon her entrance she gave Nick a hug token; I’m surprised she didn’t just give him a v-card too!

ezgif-com-c6ad04f2d0

Who else wants to know what other tokens are in the bag?! [Image credit: ABC]

Corinne was also the first to go in for a pash and Nick was even taken aback by it. However, she grabbed Nicks attention numerous time leaving a lasting impression on intro night and scored a rose to boot!

3. ALEXIS, 23

B2106.jpg

Dolphin Shark girl sure made a splash in the premiere and I give her major kudos for staying in costume the whole night, in heels! The obsessed dolphin lover doesn’t seem to know the difference between her favourite animal and sharks, but she sure wooed Nick’s funny bone.

ezgif.com-55b48d3a52.gif

My new spirit animal. And possibly Katy Perry’s left shark. [Image credit: ABC]

Her gimmick worked, and I truly do believe she is a wacky person in real life. I honestly don’t know how far she will go, she may get the boot in the next episode! But for entertainment’s sake I hope she stays around a little longer. Alexis, can we be friends??

2. VANESSA, 29

B2107.jpg

Vanessa is actually my favourite to win over Nick’s heart. She is beautiful, speaks French fluently, is Canadian (enough said), is half Italian (delicious food ensues), and a special needs teacher. Seriously, what’s not to love?! Vanessa seems normal (see not bat shit crazy) and has enough personality to be engaging on screen. I hope Nick sees this and gives her more of a chance in coming episodes. I swear he was going to pash her if Corinne hadn’t rudely interrupted. Damn you, Corinne! I’d like to think Vanessa makes it deep into season, but what do I know!?

1. RACHEL, 31

B2108.jpg

I am a sucker for smarts and Rachel came into The Bachelor with NO gimmicks. Gorgeous and strong-minded, the Texan attorney walked in with confidence and charmed Nick with her wit and bubbly attitude. Unfortunately, I just don’t see her winning Nick’s heart in the end, despite him taking an early fancy to her. If Nick truly is serious about wanting to find his ‘one true’ then I think she will make it to at least the Top 6! Rachel is also of appropriate age, not that I’m an ageist, but so many of the girls are 23-25 and I can’t help but cringe (Nick is 36 FYI). Is Rachel ‘too good’ for Nick though? We’ll see…

Honorary Mentions:

LACEY – She came in on a camel hoping to impress Nick with her humping skills. You go girl, nice try.

B2109.PNG

RAVEN – The girl from Hoxie, Arkansas, where you “shoot guns and read your bible”. That’s the Hoxie way! Raven’s definitely got a bubbly personality with a whole lot of PIGSUI (sp?!), which I have no idea what that means!

Honorary Nono’s

TAYLOR – Don’t say “hi I love you Nick”, then tell him all your friends think he’s a piece of shit and laugh about it. Not a good first impression.
JASMINE G – Bringing Neil Lane to pick out rings?! Tacky, tacky, tacky. Girl he doesn’t even know your name yet! Bring back the camel…

And Nick says goodbye to…

ANGELA – Some model I don’t remember.

BRIANA – Unfortunately Briana is one of many nurses this season and Nick’s heart doesn’t beat her way…

IDA MARIE – Did a trust fall with Nick, but he didn’t buy it.

JASMINE B – Who?!

LAUREN – Nick is not a disgusting slut anymore, Lauren!

MICHELLE – All we saw was that she’s a food truck owner, and for that I would have given her a rose.

OLIVIA – Nick’s just not into eskimos, sorry Livvy 😦

SUSANNAH – Clearly he hated the beard massage!


ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT ABC. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.