WELCOME to Reality Ramblings first Australian Survivor recap for 2017! Join me and fellow Survivor fan Annabel Fidler as we dissect this premiere week, from the serious stuff, to the funnies, to the down right juicy moments! I also join Annabel on her road to choosing her ultimate Australian Survivor crush!

This week I’ve been lucky enough to showcase some artwork this season by a couple of awesome Aussies, Anna and Gareth from Able & Game who create some very unique and humorous greeting cards, check em out at their Etsy store: Able & Game

To the highlights of the week…

Episode 1: Days 1-3

THE MAROONING AND RICE PYRAMID!

Wowowow! What a great start to the 2017 season with the contestants shown on the barge in pouring rain. It made me think, can I even do this?! The marooning was definitely a highlight and moreso the race to the rice challenge! Samatau (pink) somehow caught up to Asaga (blue) and Jarrad was all up in that rice… Until little devil Sammy from Asaga climbed up the long haired Emperor to the golden rice bag! It was absolutely brilliant! The Emperor nabbed it in the end, but it was a sight to behold.

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“Coz you gotta FIGHT, for your RICE!”

BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW CHALLENGES!

The first week of challenges this season were HUGE and already sets the standard for the rest… Will they be able to keep it up? Go big or go home seems to be the message from challenge makers. I honestly think CBS need to take some of our ideas on board. We had some hard knocks and drops, and I couldn’t help but laugh when Aimee fell on her back in the first challenge and not because she could potentially hurt herself but because no one even attempted to break her fall! Trust no one, Aimee!! And for the puzzle masters, I feel they really set up the potential first boots in AK, Kent and Joan well.

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Fly Monkey, Fly!! #superimpressive

AK’S HARDCORE GAME PLAY

AK. Dude, what are you doing?! I knew AK would go out there wanting to play hard, but I didn’t expect it to be so darn early; easy tiger! He really put his foot in it and stuck out like a sore thumb. The whole approaching sick Tara in the bushes was actually hilarious though and I couldn’t help but laugh!

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

I did admire AK’s willingness to really play and create alliances with different people first day, but this isn’t Millennials v Gen X, this is Australian Survivor. Majority of players you’re gonna get are laid back. The fast paced game AK wants to play just won’t work.

 

FAKING IT

The importance of faking your job for Commando Mark – High. For Henry? Doesn’t seem necessary. The Commando definitely has a subset of skills which are pivotal to Survivor and he’s already shown some in the first episode. As for Henry, why do you need to hide you’re a labourer? You could say you also do yoga on the side! I don’t see the whole point in this lie. If anything the Commando should say he’s a Labourer to cover up his job! Ah, the whole fake career thing is annoying anyway, but I guess it makes for interesting characters and TV.

THE BLINGIN’ BARREL RACER!

Forget Sierra Dawn Thomas, Tara Pitt is the NEW Fan Favourite (Game Changer? TBD)!!  What a legend. Her confessionals are entertaining, and she just has a whole lot of positive energy we need on the show. Even when she’s angry she has a fucking smile on her face! Her TV presence is one of the best this season. I loved her reaction to AK asking “are we OK?” Hahaha.

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WTF bro!?

JAC-JAC-JACQUI!

Wow, I’ve already been proven wrong by Jacqui since my cast assessment. What a riot! I’m liking what I see. Even with the botox, and non-fake tits! This lady is hilarious and has given us much entertainment so far… Let’s just see if she can pull off some moves too.

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SMILING ASSASSIN 2.0

Australian Survivor could have come up with a new moniker, but hey, easier to just reuse one from last year. Luke is the new smiling assassin and the name probably suits him more than it did Kylie. Another guy I gave no love for in my cast assessment, Luke showed awareness of where he and others sat in the game, with Sam apparently calling the shots. But you need the numbers to execute a blindside successfully. He just dragged Ben and Jericho down with him!

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

This guy really is a joke, in more than ways one! I’ll give it to him though, Luke was funny when he scared his tribe mates, and being a joker I think he’ll get away with quite a few things. But his humour will start to get old by end of Day 10… Bubye Luke!

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ISLAND CREEPER!

TRIBAL COUNCIL: JIBBER-JABBER JOAN vs KENT BUNDY

It really was the battle of the puzzle masters and Joan copped the brunt end.  To be fair, Joan throwing Kent under the bus was her only move so kudos for her trying! Fortunately for Kent he had a better social game than her. Joan, don’t tell everyone you sleep well at night when no one has. This just makes people think you’re well-rested to smash those puzzles out!

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

Kent also forged relationships with the right people; strong and loyal people like Sam. We haven’t seen him find his dickheads yet though…

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

I’d also like to give major kudos to Sarah kept cool, calm and collected. She seems to be the potential master manipulator of the season! Definitely one to watch. As for the tie breaker, we saw the youngens Ben and Jericho freak out and change their vote back to Joan. Who wants to go to rocks first tribal?! I’m kinda glad Luke caused this to happen as it opened Sam and Sarah’s eyes that not everyone is on their side. Time to rethink alliances!!

Sorry Joan, the tribe has spoken. Vote 1: Joan-6, Kent-6. Vote 2: Joan-7, Kent-3.

 

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Image: Nigel Wright

Episode 2: Days 4-6

LUKE, THE “SPYSHACK” AND HIDDEN IDOLS

Umm, Luke, how dare you try and ruin the Vlachos name! He had to use the Spy Shack name… And he didn’t even use it when it was most needed. Henry and Jacqui (hello Malcolm and Denise!) rocked up at the well, found the hidden idol clue and the idol… Where the F was Luke?! I feel like it was a missed opportunity for him. But then again, setting up his spy hut near the water well, where many a convo goes down is a smart idea. Hard to see it being effective though!

BALL’S UP!

Love, love, loved this slip n slide reward challenge! The rugby ball was also a nice Aussie touch. There were some great match ups in this challenge, including Tara v Sarah, Jarrad v Kent, Sammy v Tessa and of course Locky v Mark! It looked like a whole lotta fun!

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Someone’s gotta do it! \ Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

CHICKEN IDOL?

AK47, you the man!! He’s come out guns ablazin’! Making an idol (I totally saw the chicken) and showing it off to the tribe, making it look like he was really down and out and a complete idiot… It was genius! Already on the chopping block, AK did what he needed to stay in the game. Cause a stir among camp with his chicken idol and create chaos between the majority alliance. This was definitely helped with the hidden idol clue in the canoe. Adam searching for the idol so blatantly helped AKs cause as he plotted to take the poker player down by stealing it under his nose! I loved how they didn’t show AK find the idol as it created that element of surprise for the viewers too. What a great blindside! This guy is player of the week in my book!

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Just realised The Bachelor watermark… Not my fault!

CALLING ADAM’S BLUFF

So, I had so much hope for Adam and I was sorely disappointed after his boot. But then I realised, how could I put so much faith in a poker player on Survivor? They have a terrible track record in the game, and it continues in our country! Adam really fell apart when he couldn’t find the hidden idol and aggressively tried to force his ‘alliance’ to help him take AK down. Did he realise he was speaking to three women at the time? Not the right call. Even Locky didn’t want a bar of him, and who would when he tells them to just vote him out after causing such a debacle?! Yikes. And at Tribal Council suddenly AK looked REALLY good. Going into the vote, Adam revealed he had no idol which was the perfect time for AK to make his move. Which everyone was eye-rolling thinking he would play the chicken! Hahaha.

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LoL Aimee “Dude, it’s a rock” \ Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

AK played the REAL idol in which I feel was the right move for him. Play Adam’s idol on Jarrad, which shows Jarrad trust, and getting rid of it let’s him start again from scratch with the tribe; semi-clean slate. Keeping the idol would only cause more paranoia about him and put a bigger target on his back. As for Adam, his mouth got him into trouble and we said goodbye to the Super Fan. 😦 Adam-5, Anneliese-4, Kate-2.

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No more massages for you!! #eww \ Image: Nigel Wright

Episode 3: Day 7-9

ASIAN SENSATION

Props to my boy, Jarrad! How lush is his hair?!

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Even I haven’t grown my hair THAT long ❤

Post the AK47 tribal, Jarrad is pretty confused, annoyed and speechless as hell! He admits he wanted to coast through this game under the radar… Unsurprising, but boooring. Now he’s been dragged into AK’s game it will be interesting how his game progresses, or regresses.

Hey, if AK and Henry let down their locks, throw Jarrad in the mix we could have our very first Survivor Hair Fight Club!

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

WHO SPOONED WHO BETTER?

We’ve got Luke and Jericho on one side of the hut, and Sam and Mark on the other! Luke claims that he and Jericho are bonding… Right!

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Looks more than ‘bonding’ to me…

The two boys have really sent us all mixed messages though, it’s getting quite confusing! Now the OTT spooning is happening over in Sam and Mark’s corner, which seems to be right in front of the fire, in the middle of the shelter. Guys! Don’t make it so obvious okay!

 

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

Side note to this, LOVE how Jacqui was dumped after night one from Mark’s arms. Too funny! And also Michelle’s confessional about how she wants to find her own Commando in the outside world… Go on The Bachelor, hunny! She realised she’s a princess after all 😉

REWARD CANDLES & MORE BALLS!

Candles as a reward (not as good as a Pick n Mix!). I guess having fragrant candles back at camp is as useful as using Febreze in a trash can! Also, I could just see myself accidentally knocking a candle over in the shelter and burning the whole damn thing down! On to the challenge, EPIC! Though the giant oval shaped balls looked pretty dangerous and it was touch and go there. And not being round they didn’t roll very well… And what about Locky having a go at Tarzan Mark for not dropping the ball on his gal, Ziggy! :/

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If only it was this fun \ Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

FAUX-GA MAN FAILS

Henry trying to throw a challenge on his own was hilarious and also never going to work without making it too obvious! He really did try his best, but when the rest of the tribe built up that mega bamboo wall within 30 seconds there was no point in keeping it up. Asaga are just too damn good! I thought he may try and get Jacqui to help him as it would have been easier to have some help.

WHAT’S UP DOC?

TESSA SPEAKS… but is it already too late? Three episodes in and we finally hear from the Harry Potter lovin’ doctor and her and Kate are so far on the outs right now. Tessa even tries to use Tarzan Mark to find an idol for her because she knows he’s a good man. And he does out of respect for the girl, aww. Meanwhile, AK is looking awesome as the middle man with both Kate and Tessa approaching him to join them. Tribal is where Tessa’s fiery side came out. WHAT A BOSS. Sure, she may have grilled them all a bit too much, but it was so great. SO FEISTY!

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So Juicy!!

The attack on Tara was full pelt and Tessa just did not stop. The whole “you’re a flipper” tirade was so great, and let’s be honest, Tara DID flip! And that was the only angle Tessa was going for and she didn’t stop digging. To Tara, she certainly did NOT flip.

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

I must admit I really thought Tessa was a goner, but I’m so excited she’s still in the game. She has plenty more life in her yet!

KATE STAPLEY

Is Kate not our version of Philippines winner, Denise Stapley?! Uncanny!

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I didn’t see Kate going home and it’s just typical another older lady bites the dust early in the game. Sorry Kate 😦 She really did some damage in the way she spoke to AK, trying to force him into working with her with the crazy eyes and mad sales skills! Didn’t work.

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Image: Able & Game http://www.ableandgame.com.au/

It kinda sucks we didn’t get to see more of Kate, but at least we saw some of her strategic side so she has something to show for her time on the island. Kate-5, Tessa-4, Tara-2.

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CRUSHES OF THE WEEK

Pretty simple for me really. Sam; being the badass boss bitch she is on Asaga. I love me some athletic woman power, but she really has to tone it down with Commando Mark, ugh! Stop! Hottie Locky; I know Annabel is not a fan and so what if I’m a normie too, happy to see Locky’s crack anytime! But if he turns into Sam Webb he’s automatically at the bottom of the list. SHUDDER! I also pick Tessa coz she’s super cute and super smart. And I have to put Jarrad on the list, HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!


THE SPICE RACK: WEEK ONE

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Wow people not watching this show right now are losers because this is basically the best thing ever. I thought I would actually explode from excitement after episode two, and I am still trying to recover emotionally. First we had the huge plot twist absolutely no one saw coming ever when the older, curvy woman of colour was voted out first (don’t even think about @ing me with this ‘but her intense personality’ business, look at the other crazies on her tribe, please). Pretty devastated because she seemed like she had a lot to offer, both as a character and a game player. THEN AK JUST BLEW EVERYONES MINDS EPISODE TWO WHAAAAT! The first player in the history of the game to make a deliberately fake-looking fake idol to trick his tribemates into thinking he was clearly desperate and idolless. Desperate yes, idolless no. The hater casuals can just turn their TVs off (but don’t actually bc the show needs the ratings) because AK has brought almost all the spice this week. Sure, the move would definitely have been better if Jarrad had actually got votes, and all this went down in the postmerge, but the concept itself was genius. Then last night happened, and I’m still trying to work out how my preseason winner pick Tessa is still here.

BUT, more importantly, who am I crushing on this season? Arguably a more important title than Sole Survivor. Strategy is cool and all but please stop pretending that you are watching this show for any reason other than watching really hot people get lubed up, wrestle, cry, and backstab each other. For the first time in as long as I can remember I didn’t have a pre-season crush pick this season. I like so many characters this season, but feel like it’s more of a platonic spooning situation, ya feel? Going to come straight out and piss off every gay guy watching SurvivorAU right now and say I am not feeling Locky at all, and honestly I’m kind of judging you for crushing on a guy that has ‘Strength & Honour’ tattooed on his chest. This Head of the Misfits (lol) is normie, and gets plenty of attention already. But based on my past behaviour, I will almost definitely be mean about him all season then flirt with him at the finale bc I’m shameless like that. Soz Locky.

So far I’m really into the way Jarrad is good at grabbing things while on top of a human pyramid, and being liked by people. Maybe if he styled his hair into a glam up-do he could make it as my S2 crush pick. Odette is GORGEOUS and omg I can’t stop staring at her when she’s on screen, but also she is hardly ever on screen and this is a serious issue in our one-sided relationship. I’m going to need to see some big personality there before I commit my feelings to her. I also think Henry has really pretty eyes, and I’m definitely more into fake yoga guys than real ones, but I would much rather he made out with Jacqui than me, I am really ‘shipping those two! Finally, Pretty Peter has got to be the prettiest person out there (in my arbitrary, fickle opinion) – look at that bone structure omg! Unfortunately he dissed one of my top crush picks of allllllll tiiiiiiiiime which wasn’t very seductive of him, but I am still rooting for a Luke/Jericho/Peter showmance love triangle. So I guess at the end of Week 1 I’m mild-level spicy for Jarrad & Odette, but I am looking to fall in love, and to get there I’m going to need a bit more to work with.


Blog by Lynda Olson.

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ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.